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Tornado Watch, Meanwhile I think I may be a ‘Highly Sensitive Person’ (HSP) (Tuesday, August 4th, 2020)

I suppose the headline conversation along the East Coast is Tropical Storm Isaias. It’s the top homepage story on NJ.com. The headline reads: “Tropical Storm Isaias to blast N.J. with up to 75 mph wind gusts, heavy rain. Latest update on timing, track.” https://www.nj.com/weather/2020/08/tropical-storm-isaias-to-blast-nj-with-up-to-75-mph-wind-gusts-heavy-rain-latest-update-on-timing-track.html Of specific concern is the tornado watch https://www.nj.com/weather/2020/08/tornado-watch-issued-for-parts-of-nj-as-tropical-storm-isaias-nears.html The U.S. National […]

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Too much CBD oil made me awfully, terribly paranoid (Monday, August 3rd, 2020)

*[Due to having been a touch “out of it” when this entry was originally written I thought it prudent to go through it and just make sure I didn’t swerve into the utterly incoherent as I strive for quite the opposite when I write.]* [At approximately 7:45 am- 8:00 am—ish]: Notes. Policy. Got to make […]

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Uttering the “F Word” While Searching for the Fruitful Knowledge-Apples From Trees of Mistakes (Saturday, August 1st, 2020)

One of the most negative thoughts that sometimes overpowers my capacities for reasoning, conferring with basic philosophical principles such as compassion (which in my view one owes to one’s self if one is to offer it to others with any effectiveness) and the optimistic framing of perspective that reiterates life’s and the universe’s (and/or multiverse’s?) […]

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A lot of marketing is manipulative bullshit! (“Sharing is caring”; “Let It Be”—sing it, Paul McCartney!) (Friday, July 31st, 2020)

Money can really fuck with one’s mind… worse than almost anything else except for maybe religious beliefs based on pure irrationality. As Bob Dylan sings in the song “It’s Alright Ma (I’m Only Bleeding)”: money doesn’t talk, it swearsObscenity, who really caresPropaganda, all is phony (How do I distinguish the notion of religion “based on […]

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Why honesty really does tend to seem like “the best policy” ( Thursday, July 30th, 2020)

The idea that “honesty is the best policy” and that it is virtuous/ethical/moral/the “right” or “correct” or “proper” principle to adhere to—I tend to agree. In the midst of my agreement I can’t help but laugh about it because there’s the more abstract and esoteric engagement with the principle—you know, those lists we keep in […]

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A Glimpse Into How I Gave Myself Atychiphobia: ‘the abnormal, unwarranted, and persistent fear of failure’ (Wednesday, July 29th, 2020)

My therapist aptly noted how I rely at times far too much on other voices to inform my own. What do we mean by “voice” in this case? For let us please be clear that there’s a difference between self expression and that which, by virtue of constant empirical repetition, is as probable a fact […]

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Struggling to commit to a career…another one of my “phases”(Sunday, July 19th, 2020; 8:57 AM to 11:44 AM EDT)

I believe that one of my greatest strengths—a willingness to play the advocatus diaboli ( Latin for Devil’s Advocate) also is one my greatest weaknesses, making me vulnerable to abandoning, quitting on a proclaimed “dreams,” career aspirations, passions, long term career goals, potential fields of expertise; a handful of those close to me who also […]

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Daily Routines, Anxiety..(Saturday, July 18, 2020)

The question of how to establish the most sufficient daily routine, not as an inflexible absolute but at least as a reasonable set of guidelines for how to budget one’s time throughout a day, is one which has lingered in my mind for many years. When did I first start consciously experimenting with possible routine […]

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Best pathways, neural and other?– journal– Friday, July 17th, 2020

As you may see from yesterday’s post, for at least the time being, I’ve taken to a more focused and elaborate commitment to journaling, the most forceful and impactful inspiration being the neurologist Tara Swart and her book The Source.  (A book by the way that seems to me so crucial to read for its […]

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July 16th, 2020–my first entry in my new public/open online diary–which despite immense insecurity I found the nerve to write and share on this post

I would love to feel and think and act with less self-evisceration. Here is just one example. Yesterday I was thinking about journaling and then sharing the entry with you here on my blog however, I resisted because I feared that a stream-of-consciousness-ish approach to self-reflection, introspection, et cetera, that one would share… with “the […]